Living on a tropical island and working on a sailboat for a living can seem like a fairytale to most people. Visiting exotic beaches, uninhabited islands and pristine snorkel spots everyday might sound more like a vacation than a vocation. To our guests, our lifestyle can be confusing, hard to comprehend or hard to accept; “So you’re telling me this is your job?!”
Playing “the ring game” while working.
Some people who come out with us have never stepped foot on a boat before. The questions they ask may seem obvious, but genuine questions about an activity you’ve never attempted before are perfectly acceptable. The place where we start to lose people is when common sense goes out the window or when the questions are laced with a mean spirit.
Both occur frequently, sometimes simultaneously. I have compiled a short list of some of the all time most inexplicable tourist questions that I have received to date. Many of these prove that there actually IS such a thing as a bad question.
1. “Can we fill up bottles with all the different colors of the water?”
Why this is a bad question:Water is clear. Yes, in our beautiful waters, certain areas appear turquoise and some dark blue – but this has nothing to do with the actual color of the water it has to do with depth and/or objects under water. When we are in shallow area, the water looks turquoise because light is reflecting off of the white sand. In deeper areas it appears darker. You cannot bottle these colors. It’s just not possible. (I do have a blue gatorade though…)
2. “How do the airline pilots find these islands if they’re always moving?”
Why this is a bad question: Islands are actually connected to the earth. Yes, tectonic plates shift – but the movement is minute, and happens all over the world – not just under islands. This question was frequently asked in one form or another while living in the Virgin Islands. When I moved to Hawaii, I was shocked to realize that this question of drifting islands is just as common here. It seems that people may have watched too much Lost.
3. “Do the whales swim under the island to the other side?”
Why this is a bad question: Refer to previous point. Islands do not just float on the surface of the water. There’s no anchor chain attached to the bottom. They are just as connected to the earth as any other continent. I’ve also been asked if there was any way for humans to scuba dive under the island to the other side. This question makes my brain hurt.
4. “So, do you ‘live’ here?”
Why this is a bad question: How else would I have a job here? You seem to be aware that the boat does not leave this island, so do you think that I commute each morning from the mainland? Do you think that I came on vacation, and was randomly selected to be your tour guide, historian, naturalist and snorkel instructor during my stay here? How does this look in your mind? I’m genuinely curious.
5. “Don’t you get bored doing this? I mean, I would just die of boredom!”
Why this is a bad question: I often want to ask what they do for a living – because I would probably just die of boredom. My favorite is when they add in, “oh sure Hawaii (St John, Antigua, etc.) is great for a vacation, but gosh I would HATE living here!” Sure, immersing yourself in nature everyday might not be the right fit for everyone, but I certainly wouldn’t come to your office and say something like that! These people are usually the negative type; miserable with their own day-to-day routines and on a mission to bring others down.
6. (To My Boss) “So you built this boat? Did you build this screw?”
Why this is a bad question: In general, that’s not how construction works on boats or on land. The accusatory tone of this question was also a factor in adding this doozy to the list. Yes, he built the boat. No, he didn’t build the screw. Is that supposed to discredit his abilities?
7. “What altitude are we at?”
Why this is a bad question: We are at sea level. Because we are at sea. Literally. I don’t think I can say any more about that one.
8. “Are there sharks in the water?”
Why this is a bad question: Because sharks don’t live on land. You are in the middle of the ocean; of course there are sharks in the water. Sometimes we lie about this fact to young kids, but it’s really a silly question to ask.
9. “Can you get us any closer to the sunset?”
Why this is a bad question: Well, the sun sets on the horizon. Though some may call me a goddess, I am actually just a mere mortal; I do not posses enough power to bring the sun any closer. I really don’t know what I should say or do here, but I feel like I just lost a tip.
10. “Why do you guys put the sails up? Is that just to save money on gas?”
Why this is a bad question: Because you just don’t get it! I told this particular woman that we actually put the sails up because we love sailing. She continued with, “Why do you love sailing? It seems like we’re moving slower now.” People like this will just never understand.
While we have all experienced challenging guests who ask ridiculous questions, the vast majority of people who come out on our charters are extremely intelligent, fun loving, kick-ass people. Even the ones who ask silly questions provide us with entertainment and stories to share.
Have you ever experienced any of these questions? What are the most ridiculous questions you have ever been asked while living on an island or working on a boat?
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Jill on April 15, 2015 at 01:47
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Haha oh man some of these were great! Reminds me of some of the things people think I do in my job – I’m a nanny. Found you through the creative collaborative and love your blog! I’d love to come sail on one of your boats some day!
I can’t even imagine the questions you must get! Thank you for checking out the blog – next time you’re in Hawaii look me up!
While living in Key West I got the “Do you live on the here?” question fairly regularly but my favorite was. “Does the water go all the way around the Island?”
Does the water go all the way around? Does the island go all the way around? What river is this? It’s painful. I honestly think sometimes people come on vacation and turn off their brains. Gives us something to joke about! 😛
I should have kept a list, I’ve had some real doozies. Thanks
Capt John, I’m sure you’ve had some real head scratchers in your years! Too funny!
oh my God! I don’t know if I have to laugh or to cry! !!!
It’s a little terrifying, but we always choose to laugh or else we would be forced to cry! 🙂
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How many Sunset Sails do you do a day?
Oh man! That’s one of my new favorites!
From a land based tour operator. Here are a few more.
“Where do the islands go at night?” Makes sense, right?. They get up each morning on their cruise ship, there is a new island in front of them. At least it seems like that for some.
When standing on the dock, “Is there water on the other side of the island?” I’m still looking for the perfect response to that one.
Or, also on the dock, “Is it the same time at Magens Beach?” Seems dumb at first, but that’s not their real question.
The Virgin Islands doesn’t change their clocks for Daylight Savings, whereas most cruise ships stick with “ship time” which is often from their homeport. So, actually, this could be a really, smart question and could be the difference on missing the ship’s departure time.
Yes, this disappearing or floating island idea is popular… very strange. “Does the water go all the way around the island?” is one of the strangest. Usually if I don’t answer and allow that question to hang in silence for a second or two they will catch themselves or one of the people they’re with will laugh..
While working in St Thomas, we definitely had a few cruise shippers miss their day charters because of that daylight savings confusion. Definitely good for people to think about it!
Thanks for sharing!!
I constantly get asked how deep is the water. My typical response is over 6 feet. Granted the water is very clear and looks shallow at most snorkel sights or the guests might have a fear of deep water. I have to say that after the water is six feet deep and you can no longer touch does it matter if its 8ft,16ft,or 600 ft deep …still can’t stand up
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As a historical reenactor, I feel your pain. We often get questions from people as nonsensical as “Is that fire real?” The times I have had to restrain myself from pushing them into it so they could “test” it for themselves!
But I hate to burst your bubble. Water isn’t actually clear. It’s blue: http://www.webexhibits.org/causesofcolor/5.html
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Rae on April 16, 2015 at 19:10
Some people have lived their whole lives and never seen the ocean. If you think about that, some of those aren’t that dumb like asking about the color of the water or why you put sails up…
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How about “What time do the dolphins swim by?”
Will you scan the water for sharks before you let us get in?
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Do I have to know how to swim to go snorkeling?
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The funniest question I ever had was” what do you do at night on passages”. My answer was. ” the marine groups have put buoys all across the ocean just for us to tie to to get a good nights sleep”!
Hi Liz!
Having worked a few different places, it’s interesting to see how the list of dumb questions changes in different locales…
For example, in Juneau, AK:
“What lake is this?” (on the ocean, Inside Passage…)
“What time of year do the sea lions spawn? When do they lay their eggs?”
“Why is the glacier dirty? Why doesn’t the city clean it?”
“At what age does a deer grow up into a moose?”
Good times indeed 🙂
While working on the Catalina Express…..”Is this boat on tracks like the Monorail at Disneyland?”
one of my all time favorites….when talking to our guests about doing Atlantic crossings….do you anchor at night?
When talking to nonsailors about overnight passages and they ask” where do you park the boat during the night”. Really?
We’ve got, How deep do you have to dive to go under the island? How high are the cliffs we are going to dive off? What is the nearest beach to the ocean? Why is the water higher than before, is it because of the rain? What time is the 4:15 ferry? About the ladder on the dive boat to go to the upper deck they ask, do these stairs go up or down? And so many more.
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Noooo!!! How can people be so stupid?! I mean, come ON! This has nothing to do with not knowing boats and sailing and everything to do with stupidity.
i worked on a Ro-Ro ferry, between 2 Citys and a passanger ask me on the main deck, after parking his car: “wich side of the ship goes to Rostock” he was parked in the SB so i Said PS. another one ask me: “if the capten could step on the brake a little, becaurs his son was seasick” so i Said: ” sorry we are out of brakefluid” but my favorite was a man who was sitting on the weather deck: that asked me: “if i could turn the wind a little, becaurs he couldent reed his paper” so i told him “that passagers were required, to buy there own Wind changers in the shop 2 decks below”
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How many breaths are in one snorkel?
Does this same water pretty much go all the way around the island?
When you cross the ocean, where do you anchor each night?….
Our best was “Are those whale eggs?” while pointing to fish traps….LOL!!
A lot of folks want to know if we anchor at night (sailing across oceans). The next thing
they want to know is what will we eat when we get to .. wherever. We used to say, “duh… they eat everywhere.” but the joke was on us. Lots of times in far away places we did not want to eat what “they” ate, at least not as a full time diet. So that was a better question than we knew!
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Love all these questions. Aren’t humans silly and amazing.
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Found your page through Instagram. Thanks for a good laugh with this tourist questions section! I am curious what you’ve noticed as the differences between your mentality being in a place for a few weeks, vs as a resident for an extended time. I have visited a few countries and would love to move abroad in the future – I am sure there are major differences but it is hard to fathom what it would be like to move, vs visit.
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Matt, I just moved into a little apartment here in Merida, Mexico. I will say that my preference is staying in a place longer to really get the feel for it. It’s the little things like spending time in a grocery store, or waiting in line at the bank that makes you fully understand a community. Something just sinks in. Visiting places for a short trip is great and I’ve done a lot of that as well. Having only a few days to really see a city encourages you to get out and explore. I think both styles are great but slow travel is definitely cheaper!